Friday, November 27, 2009

4 Secrets to a Spectacular Relationship

#1. Understand Each Other's Needs
"The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or physical incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration -- the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts -- that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations".

#2. Show Him Some Love
Men whose partners give them affirmation -- those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved -- are twice as likely to describe themselves as happy in their relationship. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your guy to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen -- which is why men rely on that attention from their mates. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.

#3. Take 10
A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything, except for responsibilities or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners.

And knowing your partner intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on the block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.

#4. Focus on the Good
The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage, "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction."

This doesn't mean that you can't feel -- or talk about -- anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your partnership into one that is truly great.

repost from a credible source.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

4 Things You Should Never Do with Your Credit Cards

In Oklahoma City, a financial adviser and author of The Value of Money, Susan McCarthy lists her top four credit card don'ts:

1. Don't make only the minimum payments. This stretches out your payment and, thanks to the interest, significantly increases your overall cost.

2. Don't carry too many cards. Multiple cards make it easier to rack up debt because it's harder to keep track of your spending. Having lots of cards isn't necessarily bad for your credit, but misusing them is. So limit your plastic to two national cards (store cards often carry higher interest rates) that you manage carefully.

3. Don't miss payment due dates. Not only will you be hit with a late fee but your interest rate could also jump. Sign up for online banking or pay over the phone if you're up against the deadline. (You may pay a processing fee, but it will probably be less than the late fee and the possible interest-rate hike.)

4. Don't take cash advances. These advances generally come with sky-high interest rates and service fees, making them a far too expensive way to get cash. Avoid at all costs.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

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